Monday, February 19, 2007

Shouting at the radio, the first sign of madness.

I am back, having been deprived of internet access for 4 days whilst in London. Despite the fact that I am definately NOT addicted to the internet I did find myself getting a bit twitchy by the end. A lot of stuff has happened in the interim and I am particularly sorry that I missed any discussion on the carcrash that was the Brits.

So, apropos of nothing at all, I am going to rant on a bit about the Today programme on radio 4, Mr. John Humphries in particular.

As first thing in the morning, I like to be lulled into consciousness, rather than harangued by a fat misogynist with inner child issues, I waken to the Today programme. This has been my routine for at least 10 years. Recently, however, I am finding the programme increasingly irritating. I don't know if it is the insufferable 'Thought for the Day' ,(my thought..if I wanted to be lectured on my morals I would go to a philosophy lecture and not listen to a patronising load of bollocks spouted by a sanctimonious cleric with inner child issues.) or the invariable items on the demise of the sparrow. No, the thing that winds me up the most is the unbearably smug Mr. Humphries. You may recognise the tone, you know, self-satisfied and utterly devoid of humour or self-awareness.

This progamme is meant to be the flagship discussion and news programme on the BBC and all we are given is Mr. Humphries whining on and on about everything......why oh why.... ad nauseum, interspersed with the so-called tough questioning of various government representatives. In fact all he does is loudly express a personal belief and then sit back and ignore everything that is said to him in reply.

I was unlucky enough to hear him on some other programme talking about music the other day and it was obvious to me that he is one of those people who just doesn't 'get' the point of it, it's just background noise to him. Whilst I'm on the subject he is also patronising towards his fellow presenters, especially the women. Also he's about 60 and he has a little kid, yeuchhh. And he's always going on about how he wants it to rain, for the benefit of the farmers, when it's been pissing it down here for about 6 weeks.

Now I am not young, I am proudly middle-aged. What that means is that about half the population are younger than me. Mr Humphries is either speaking for the older demographic and is quite happy to be out of touch with the rest of us, or I am just a bit touchy*.

Anyway, I would like to listen to a current affairs programme in the morning that informs and entertains without being patronising. I would like to hear a presenter who isn't an old-fashioned, misogynistic, creepy, egotist. Is that too much to ask?

*Rhetorical, obviously.


GreatSheElephant said...

He's pretty much why I abandoned the radio for waking up with. I was getting out of bed in a fury every single day because of his rudeness.

There is one well known but unidentified radio presenter who is widely rumoured to be fairly far into the autistic spectrum. Do you think it could be he?

Spinsterella said...

But to balance things out, isn't James Naughtie just *lovely*?

Tedward's Missing Ear said...

I wake up to Radio 5 Live in the morning. Nicky Campbell can be both smug and irritating but is quite good on the radio and Sheila Fogarty is a gem and slaps him down when he needs it (quite often).

I actually find I'm having withdrawal from Sheila who is on holiday at the moment and the ever so bland Gabby Logan is standing in. All in all though it is quite a gentle way to come to of a morning.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

First sign of madness? Really? Damn.

And those shoes need to be taken out and shot, for all our sanity.

Billy said...

This is why I don't listen to the radio in the morning. I do hate Thought for the Day in particular.

Tim Footman said...

As far as Today hacks go, I like Ed Stourton. I think the word is "unrufflable", and if it isn't, it blimmin' should be.

Vicus Scurra said...

Peter Allen on Radio 5 is old-fashioned and purports to be misogynistic, but is very funny and the best presenter on Radio, particularly with his co-presenters who keep him in his place. He is on Radio 5 from 4 - 7 in the evenings.
If you want to wake up to him, you will have to either get a job working nights or take it easier at your place of work.
I hope that this helps.

Murph said...

Just pop across for 3 minutes of Moyles and tune back to make the Humph sound positively chilled and charming.
Apparently Chris Moyles used to think he was a boy trapped in a woman's body. Then he was born, and the world became a nastier place.

Wyndham said...

I've always had a chip on my shoulder about the Today programme because everyone I know listens to it, but I find it slow and dull with those interminable news features about stuff everyone else did months back, and those precious Radio 4 trails where they can't bear to use music in case it's all a bit too loud for Mildred. And if I want misanthropy in the morning I just have to look in the mirror.

realdoc said...

I have been recommended 5 Live before but haven't quite managed the switch. I am glad I am not alone in my hatred of all things Today. It's only that programme I shout at, oh and the Archers. Oh and You and Yours.
Ed Stourton is unruffable but is also madly religious so that's him out.
Spins: I'll give you Naughtie with a following wind.

Richard said...

Today is quite possibly the single most pretentious, arrogant and self-important programme on the wireless. Awful. They may not think so but it's no more than opinion on tap for a listenership who can't make their own minds up. The nearest thing the BBC have got to ITN. Humphries has no redeeming features whatsoever. I can't even watch Mastermind anymore.

Sorry, I've taken to blogging in other people's comment boxes because I can't bear to go over to Beta.

surly girl said...

beta's not so bad, once you take the plunge (not that i jumped - i was pushed).

i wake up to kerrang tv myself. so soothing.

Marsha Klein said...

Ooh, did you hear "Thought for the Day" today? when the contributor (from the Iona Community) made the astonishing assertion that he lives in a country where the "children of today will become the leaders and opinion-formers of tomorrow"?! As opposed to what exactly? A country where today's children are tomorrow's domestic pets? Occasional furniture? One ironic side-effect of listening to TFTD though is that it DOES make me exclaim "Jesus Christ" most mornings! My preference for presenter of "Today" would be Eddie Mair.

Did you get to Divertimenti?

Geoff said...

I'd only sit down and listen to it if it was presented by Chris Morris.

But maybe the idea is to get us out to work as quickly as possible.

First Nations said...

wooden stake. right through the heart.
i had to google this man on my daughters' computer, and i'm sorry i did.
wooden stake. only solution.

llewtrah said...

I daren't wake up to the radio - I fall asleep again. I get up and eat breakfast while watching BBC News 24. Only trouble is my breakfast time coincides with the financial news and not the headlines. I go to work knowing the current exchange rates, but not the latest news! (I like heavy metal music in the car, John Humphries while driving is awful beyond contemplation)

realdoc said...

Marsha: sadly I did not get to Divertimenti, 2 hours in Top Shop and then i had to have an alcoholic lunch.
I have now decided the best thing to listen to in the car are podcasts so go on all you podcasters and do another one.

rockmother said...

Hmmm.....looks like I'll have to shortlist John 'the rudest man on the radio' Humphries for Munter Of the Week! I wake up to him too but have it turned down just enough not to actually hear what he is saying.

Urban Chick said...

can't bear mr humphrys

i am much preferring carolyn quinn or martha kearney or the ultimate: jon snow


i met him once and i can attest to his all round brilliantness and gorgeousness and self-deprecatingness

Urban Chick said...

(and a rather good texan accent)