Thursday, December 11, 2008

Goodbye Mr Postgate

The first voice I remember other than my parents. Noggin the Nog (when it was on Blue Peter) was on the TV when my baby sister was brought home from hospital, my first memory aged 4. Gentleness, sucky blankets, coal fires and dippy eggs.

A real gent and a very British genius.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Slow ginger death

I hope the rest of you are enjoying The Devil's Whore , and not simply because of John Simm's scar, which I find curiously mesmerising, but also the amazing pallor of Angela Riseborough takes me back to my youth , before tanning salons, when everyone in Northern Ireland looked like this......

Redheads are being bred out of existence now with the dual Darwinist pressures of foreign holidays blistering their pasty carcasses and the fact that the UV lights in nightclubs make freckles go green, thus rendering their owners unshaggable.

My own titian tresses have not been passed on to my offspring (the first question after their birth was not 'Has she got the requisite number of limbs?' but 'She isn't ginger is she?') thanks to me making the unusual lifestyle choice of marrying a semi-Belgian. Perhaps in future gingers will be prized for their rarity value but I can't see it myself.

Also,I thought I was just a bit lazy and busy to be prolific at this blogging lark but it turns out I'm at the vanguard of an exciting new movement see here.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Full Metal Fandango

I'm sure you all enjoyed a laugh at the discrepancy between the avatars and reality in the Second Life divorce saga. Presumably supermodels and film stars chose fat, balding, bespectacled alter egos.

Whilst we are on the topic of technology and sex, which we sort of are, Mr realdoc has developed a crush on this 'blushing young lovely' (his words....eeeeuuugghh sounds like the person who writes the blurb on page 3 of the Sun, who I met at a party once and who wasn't quite as repellant as you may think, but I digress.)

This young lady plays a Terminator on the Sarah Connor Chronicles and Mr realdoc's admiration has led us to several discussions on whether the homicidal metal mercenaries from the future possess full working parts and whether this young lady's fandango (copyright TME) in particular would be accomodating (him) or would incorporate an impressive arsenal (weapons rather than the football team -me). So any ideas?

***UPDATE*** Fandango has made the word cloud, hurrah! Although arse has now gone.....arse, arse, arse, arse. Maybe the blog gender analyser will get my gender right now.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The queen of cyber CBT

Is it just me or is there a sense of ennui hanging over this particular corner of the blogosphere at the moment? What with patroclus threatening to quit entirely, annie on a break, the non-appearance of Tim's review of the Wire or the fact that geoff has pains in his legs and GSE can't get enough things to hate. If that isn't enough the 'W' has fallen off my laptop (which means thatI have to employ a piece of wire if I want to post a question).

I wonder what we can do to cheer everybody up a bit. I thought that the election across the pond may help but the general view seems to be, 'nice man but I bet it won't change a bloody thing'. I am therefore issuing a challenge: try to post something amusing or inspiring which will give us all a lift in these grim post-crash, pre-Christmas days...that's right let's all think positive shall we.

O bollocks to this shitting w

Thursday, November 06, 2008

This is the dawning of a new era*

The first day of a new golden era dawns. Well he hasn't managed to change the weather in Ballykissarse yet but still he can weave the words can't he. Something about seeing that black family on stage in that sea of people made me cry until Mr Realdoc pipes up...'Well at least the bullet-proof glass industry will survive the recession now'.

*On the first Specials album good song.

P.S. There is a stupid man on woman's hour saying there are no female bloggers and giving that stupid woman, who moved up North and thinks she deserves a medal, another bloody namecheck. Now some stupid woman is mentioning blogs that are useful............useful nobody told me they were supposed to be useful

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Stolen meme thing

vicus did this meme and I thought it rather splendid so I have nicked it. I left out some questions as they seemed a bit irrelevant to me.

1. Put your ipod on shuffle

2. For each question press the next button to get your answer.

3. Don't cheat

What would best describe your personality?

Lady Madonna - The Beatles

What do you like in a girl/guy?

Brass Buttons - Gram Parsons

How do you feel today?

Learning To Fly - Pink Floyd

What's your life's purpose?

Reach Out I'll Be There - The Four Tops

What's your motto?

Never Can Say Goodbye -The Communards

What do your friends think of you?

Fido, Your Leash is Too Long - The Magnetic Fields

What is your life story?

What Can I Do? - Antony and the Johnsons

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Bright College Days - Tom Lehrer

What do strangers think of you?

Karma Police - Radiohead

How's your love life?

Goodbye to Love - The Carpenters

What will they play at your funeral?

Picture This - Blondie

What's your biggest secret?

These Boots are Made for Walking - Nancy Sinatra

What do you think of your friends?

Everybody Knows (Except You) - Divine Comedy

What song do you listen to when you are sad?

Decatur - Sufjan Stevens

In love?

Not a Crime - Gogol Bordello

What's your signature karaoke song?

Justified and Ancient - KLF

What is your greatest desire?

The Masochism Tango - Tom Lehrer

How will you die?

Ther She Goes Again - The Velvet Underground

Do people secretly lust after you?

All the Way To Reno - REM

What's the best advice you will ever get?

Smokestack Lightnin' - Howlin' Wolf

Well, I'm not sure that was very enlightening although the combination of having a personality like Lady Madonna and having to 'Say Goodbye to Love' is a bit worrying.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Heroes of the new enlightenment

Apparently the end of civilisation as we know it means that we will have a flowering of culture as people try to find more meaning in their lives than has hitherto been the case. Instead of dreaming of acquiring such trinkets as this, this or this, we will sit about penning sonnets, planning our allotment, making do and mending and talking to our children. Except in our house, where the main topic of conversation seems to be the X Factor and how lovely and smiley Cheryl Cole is and to think I thought she was just a cheap Northern slapper when actually she is a little china doll who you would just like to have sitting on your mantlepiece giving you encouraging little smiles and hugging you every time you feel a bit crap.*

Apropos of nothing at all, is anyone else in the world watching this, it is a bit buried in the schedules after the Billie Piper sex thing on ITV2 but has made me laugh a lot. Alan Statham was on it last week as a super villain with the power to turn off lights. They should get Cheryl on with her superpower being the ability to turn cynical old munters into softies.

*I was going to insert a lovely picture of Cheryl here but in all the ones I saw she appears to have her tits or fandango on display so I haven't bothered.