Monday, December 18, 2006

'Tis the season of school musical extravaganzas




We are well into the season of school Christmas productions, one down and one to go in our house. Old fashioned Nativity plays seem to be out of fashion in favour of a more democratic form of entertainment with a somewhat distant relationship to the greatest story ever told.

We have already 'enjoyed' a musical evening at littlest realdoc's primary school. This involved the whole school on the stage dressed in a variety of costumes from rock star to gospel choir (not blacked up I am pleased to report but I bet it was mooted at some point) and featuring numbers set in, to name a couple of examples, a Greek restaurant ('Come and try our tara-mas-a-lata') and a department store ('Let's go shooopppping, let's go shoooppping'). We were treated to several anguished pleas for the loo and one younger participant falling asleep and missing his big moment. Much respect to all you primary school teachers out there, at least we're related to the little buggers. All in all I've seen worse but then I have worked in A&E in the past and the standard of seasonal singing in there is pretty woeful.

The main problem is that going to these things brings back Mr. realdoc's memories of his days treading the boards at school. He has a distinguished CV including Yum Yum in the Mikado and Nancy* in Oliver. (It was a boys only establishment.) You have not experienced pain until you are woken in the morning by the strains of a consultant radiologist singing 'As long as 'eeee neeeeeds meeee' in the shower.




*Mr. realdoc had been promised the part of the Artful Dodger and a family holiday was postponed in anticipation, he has never really got over it.
PS for those of you browned off with Christmas the solution lies here. Thanks to baggie for pointing it out.

25 comments:

Tedward's Missing Ear said...

Yes I am slightly baffled by the modern nativity play having watched middle TME as a lollipop in her festive offering on Friday.

Istvanski said...

Hello Realdoc.
Just popped over to say how much I enjoyed the Realdocast (recommended by JifDumpAlliance). I loved the "Dancing in the Moonlight" cover and the Divine Comedy always goes down well over here at Istvanski towers.
Nice one and Merry Xmas!

Billy said...

Oliver! What a musical.

Valerie said...

OMG SPROUTS!

(Sorry, couldn't help it. I guess I've watched the Shoes video a few too many times.)

Seriously, that's classic. A great way to get out some aggression on innocent vegetables.

You didn't tell me you were married to Dr. Alan Statham.. ;-)

realdoc said...

TME: lollipops yeah
Istvanski: Welcome, glad you liked the podcast.
Billy:I know every word of every song.

Dave said...

Still, cheer up, there's only six days until Christmas!


(And only a week until you join me and the 'lads' in Finland.)

Mangonel said...

ONLY SIX DAYS! Noo-oooo-oo-o-oo!

Chaucer's Bitch said...

agh! i took one look at that photo and immediately went into shell-shock. i think i have post-traumatic stress disorder from my catholic primary school christmas pageants.

*assumes fetal position and sucks thumb*

Spinsterella said...

They have taramasalata in Nrn Irn these days?

Christ Almighty, when I was a girl having spaghetti was considered avant garde.

Tim Footman said...

My darling niece Lily, who is three, was Mary in her nursery nativity last week. And she didn't pick her nose once.

realdoc said...

dave: I'm limbering madly
cb: there there calm down. Do you need a sucky blanky? I have some going spare.
spins: we even have tomatoes ...in tins!!! hurrah.
tim: Mary eh? She must be one of the Nativorati

llewtrah said...

I was always a tea-towelled shepherd or a narrator in our plays.

Did any of the little darlings insist the baby would be called Colin or other such apocryphal fun?

realdoc said...

'Little baby cheeses'

llewtrah said...

BabyBel?* Better than "5 pra-awn rings" (the annoying school play themed "mums shop at Iceland" advert).

*little baby Edams

Billy said...

I'm going to suggest we have a nativity play in my office. It would piss all over secret santa or whatever rubbish will inevitably end up happening.

Marsha Klein said...

Hi realdoc,

Please can you delete your link to my (newly defunct) blog.

Thanks

Chaucer's Bitch said...

Thanks RD (or should i call you 'mum?'), but I have an excellent sucky blanky right here.

*does best impersonation of Linus*
*slurps on thumb*

Dave said...

Billy, we did have a Nativity Play in the place where I work last week. With adults in all the main roles.

llewtrah said...

Adult baby cheeses? That's a bit kinky isn't it?

Anonymous said...

FirstNations here...

one of the best things about being an empty nester is NO MORE SCHOOL EVENTS. how we dreaded them; how we loathed them, every one of us. even the dogs. brrrrrrrr.

llewtrah said...

Being child-free means I've never had to endure the school events that were inflicted on my parents. Sorry mum and dad. You did your duty and tried not to cringe.

Anonymous said...

Happy, happy Christmas to you Realdoc. Wishing you a brilliant time for you and your familyxxx

Thankyou for all your kindness and supportxxx

Mollyxx

mad muthas said...

"this is the veg i can do without" - classic!

Richard said...

Btw, if you're really into maths, check out the "pretty things" link on my blogroll - it's about fractals and mandelbrot and julia sets and all that mullarky about which I know nothing.

Richard said...

I'm trying to work out why that comment appeared here. Very puzzled.