Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Would you buy a hospital from this man?

Apparently the government, in its infinite wisdom are going to allow hospitals to use 'celebrities' to advertise their services.

This conjures up some horrific images. Just imagine Geri Halliwell or some soap star, in soft focus, espousing the merits of her local maternity unit, we might even get film of the birth itself if we're very unlucky.

Gazza or Wayne Rooney endorsing the excellent service provided by their local A&E, 'when I had a night on the tiles and ended up in a punch up they stitched me up lovely'.

There's only one problem with this plan, in my experience celebrities don't avail themselves of the NHS, at least not when their star is on the rise. Pete Doherty has probably been in a few NHS clinics but I don't think his endorsement would count for very much.

The article also mentions that those perceived as 'medical experts' by the public could not be used although the government is 'still open'minded about whether this restriction should apply to actors in medical soaps'???????
Now I know the public is stupid but surely they realise that these people don't really know anything about medicine, don't they?
So who would be your top pick for a celebrity NHS endorsement?


Dave said...

Me. Obviously I'd pick you too, but then, I perceive you to be a medical expert, and I'm a member of the public, so that excludes you.

I, on the other hand, know nothing about medicine, but have a very trustworthy manner.

Plus I've suffered at the hands of-

Sorry, let me start that sentence again: I've enjoyed the excellent service the NHS has to offer us mere mortals.

ziggi said...

Bupa must be laughing all they way to the bank - should result in a tidy increase in their profits. My continuing loyalties lie with House - I think he'd be great. I can just hear him saying "fuck off and die" that should do it.

Wyndham said...

The Paul Merson Dialysis machine has a certain logic to it though.

herschelian said...

I really don't see the point of this. To hell with what any celebs say, surely most people will want to use the nearest hospital or specialist hospital? Its the logical thing to do. If I have any choice of hospital, I'd rather go with the local skuttlebutt as to whether a hospital was good, bad or indifferent. I visit people in my local hospital, and talk to people who have been treated there, and thats the feedback I use. A celeb who is paid to say a place is good, no way.

Chaucer's Bitch said...

I nominate that bloke on that show who was in a crazy-ass car wreck and all over the glossy rags for about a month after. you know the dude i'm talking about? from the car thiny?... yeah, him.

Mangonel said...

Enoch Powell, reassuring the viewing public about the quality of nursing and auxiliary care, by accompanying himself on a guitar singing Edelweiss - 'small and bright, clean and white' - no wait, would the 'Rivers of blood' thing indicate that he might be percieved as having some medical knowledge?

Felix Kasza said...

Come on, people. The only possible choice for this position is the UK's very own Patricia Hewitt, of course. How about a suitable slogan? "Come into my parlour ...."


llewtrah said...

I'm hardly going to pop into the local maternity unit and say "I'm not actually pregnant, but whatserface from telly thoroughly recommends you ... by the way, do you treat ingrown toenails?"

My inability to recognise so-called celebs (I don't even know who most of them are) means the advertising would be wasted on me. Mind you, I can picture Ozzy Osbourne doing some interesting adverts.

Vicus Scurra said...

You are all so cynical. If the NHS employs a smiling Noel Edmonds to advertise its services, then I will induce anal polyps so that I can be admitted.
If, halfway through "Celebrity Vasectomy" the image of Janet Street-Porter pops up recommending the local speech therapy clinic or whatever, then I will force my pancreas to malfunction and stagger into casualty in the hope of meeting Keith Chegwin.
Sorry that my celebrities are not more up to date, but I have not been well.

Tim Footman said...

Duffy from Casualty would be a good call, because not only is she the sort of person to whom morons probably display their more grotesque afflictions, but she also demonstrates the symptoms a bizarre medical condition. In the early days of ver Cazh, she had a rich, Bristolian bumpkin accent. Almost immediately, it was replaced by a nondescript sub-RP voice. A clear case of anooarrria nervosa.

Geoff said...

We had Holby City on in the background last night and the surgeon asked for some music as he started to cut. It was Bowie's Let's Dance.

I think Ozzie Osbourne would be a good choice.

patroclus said...

Dr Alan Statham, obviously.

homo escapeons said...

Ah yes but the public understands that the Celebrity represents the concept that it is better to LOOK good than it is to FEEL good and so the 'great unwashed ' masses will hopefully stop overwhelming the system with their ridiculous hydrochondriatic notions.

realdoc said...

I think we should open a hospital staffed by actors famous for playing medical staff in telly dramas and comedies. It would be interesting to see what sort of clientele showed up. How about filming the whole thing and selling it to Michael Grade?
Split your sides as 'Dr' Doug Ross and 'Dr' Who attempt brain surgery etc etc...well I'd watch.

GreatSheElephant said...

presumably these celebs will want paying for this? Doesn't seem a good use of NHS funds to me (funds that no doubt could be far better spent on fixing my sense of humour failure)