Sunday, October 01, 2006

For M

So, anyway it's my wedding anniversary this week. 15 years, how did that happen?
My other half is a rather curmudgeonly radiologist who loves wine, physics and books about Nelson's navy. So why have I lasted this long?

1. He makes me laugh. The other day whilst watching telly a video by the Verve came on, 'some people think that Richard Ashcroft's a musical genius, but he's just a surly cunt', he says causing me to give myself a sinus washout with Chilean pinot (not recommended).

2.Watching England win the Ashes made him cry.

3. He gets offended by Dr. Statham off Green Wing on behalf of his profession.

4. He has read 'A Brief History of Time' all the way through and understood it.

5. He is an honourable man.

6. He plays the piano when he is happy.

7. He hasn't a sexist bone in his body.

8. Whenever we go to the Science Museum, which is more often than I would like, he always goes to look at the first CT scanner and always buys a model aeroplane which he flies over the fence the first time he tries it out.

9. Whenever we go to Tate Modern, which is not as often as I would like, he follows me around dutifully and tries to bite his lip but always says, 'this is all bollocks, isn't it?' at some stage.

10. He knows I blog and can't understand why, but has never asked to read it.

So anyway readers what will I get him for an anniversary present? He will, no doubt, get me a new ironing-board cover but we all have our cross to bear.


Tim Footman said...

Get him a radio-controlled aeroplane, so he can fly it over the fence and then make it come back.

(He sounds lovely, btw.)

cello said...

Aww. I've got one almost identical (substitute books on Euclid and Stockhausen for Nelson)

And we've just celebrated our 30th anniversary, the Pearl.

He is very good at remembering what type of anniversary it is and getting appropriate presents. I've had some very imaginative cotton, silk, wooden, and tin presents over the years. And I am now the proud owner of a long string of freshwater pearls.

But I think the 15th is the Crystal anniversary. You could get him a crate of Crystal champagne with beautiful plain crystal glasses as he loves wine. Or something with glass in it, like Nelson's telescope if it's available...

Spinsterella said...


He does sound like a catch. And he's right, that Richard Ashcroft is a cunt of the highest order.

the whales said...

Get him a DVD of the Ashes! And a Flintoff Poster!

re brief history of time - you could try him out with the most recent one by Roger Penrose. I keep meaning to blog about it. It's about 1300 pages long, one of the most (mathematically) densely packed things i've ever seen - and it's in paperback. Weighs more than a horse. In Waterstones. In the popular science section. Unbelievable.

Tedward's Missing Ear said...

Your tribute to Mr Realdoc brought a tear to my eye.

I can vouch for his sterling qualities even if he is scared of my morning hair.

some good ideas for pressies already and whatever you get him at least it will be better than Mr TME's 40th birthday trip to craggy island!

annie said...

Awww! (as well.)

Cricket... physics... I wish I could advise you, but he is like a being from another planet to me.

Give him a big sloppy kiss, that should please him.

(Also, can I say, where is Cello's blog? Where?)

StacieFunkee said...

Awww. Its my parents 25th anniversary next year. Cue our trip to Vegas, tacky on their behalf but im not complaining free trip to Vegas!

Vicus Scurra said...

A damned good cricket book.
John Arlott's biography of Jack Hobbs, if he doesn't already own it.

Billy said...

The best cricket book ever is by CLR James, but I can't remember the title.

Roger Penrose makes my brain hurt, I managed about 5 pages of the Emperor's New Mind or whatever it's called.

Richard said...

This is the week he decides to read your blog for the first time and realises that it was us who suggested you got him the all expenses paid trip to Australia following the Ashes tour.

Top swearing, btw.

Tim Footman said...

Billy: it's called Beyond a Boundary. When I first heard his name mentioned, I thought CLR James was the fat Aussie who laughed at foreigners on the telly.

realdoc said...

Thank you all for your helpful advice, specifically
TF:He likes the ones with elastic bands but I might give that a go.
cello: crystal meth any good?
spins: yes he is
whales; He unfortunately owns the Ashes DVD but the Penrose book sounds like his cup of tea.
TME: Your morning hair is bloody scary.
Annie: kiss duly dispatched, and that cello I think she's a lurker in blogger's clothing.
Stac: I fear Vegas may give Mr. R a heart attack, hope you've recovered from Friday's onslaught btw.
Vicus: you're back! That sounds like his sort of thing.
Billy: Yummers as ever.
Richard: If that present could be supplied I would.
I thought you said 'stop swearing' there and had misread my audience, thank fuck for that.

ps my word verification had an umlaut in it. That's just taking the piss.

Robert Swipe said...

....would you be able to stretch to a CT scanner, docster?

You seem to have lucked out there with Mr. R. Could he maybe have a little word with Ma Swipe re: the blogging thing - not content with having (unwittingly) written most of mine, the fairer/funnier half now insists on reading them too. The cockrot episode came as a bit of blow as you can no doubt imagine. As a Doctor, you wouldn't happen to know of any preparations that might be available over the counter to take the anger out of it a little, perhaps. I'll make it worth your while.

ziggi said...

a Jackson Pollock paint by numbers kit?

the whales said...

Realdoc - be very careful of the Penrose book - have a look inside before you hand over your cash.

There are a few others out along the lines of Brief History of Time that would be good (ie not filled with maths).

How about buying him Sky so he can watch cricket ALL THE TIME!

On second thoughts...

realdoc said...

Mr Swipe I couldn't possibly make a recommendation without a full, ahem, examination.

Robert Swipe said...

....brazen hussy!!

And on your anniversary too.

(I'll meet you by the clock at Waterloo Station, 18.00 hrs - make sure your wearing gloves - it's liable to weep....)

Robert Swipe said...

..I know, I know "you're" not "your"....

The Murphmeister said...

He's very sound on Richard Arsecroft.

And do they still have that door at the Science museum that opens by itself when you go near it? Brilliant!

realdoc said...

I'll be in London at the weekend but as I'm going on an anniversary trip with Mr. R. I feel a meeting may have to wait.

cello said...

Have I done something wrong? Is there nothing between lurker and blogger? Lokker or blurger maybe?

I thought I was just an occasional poster, but frequent reader.

Molly Bloom said...

This is a lovely post Realdoc. I think you should get him a handful of air that has formed your words. Put it in a box with a little ribbon around it and say it is the hope for another 50 years.

realdoc said...

cello, no offence intended. It's the blue writing that confuses people.